You know it is so easy to "blame" misunderstandings or conflict on the other party. We are so in tune to our own points of view that it is hard to see that we may have come across differently than we intended. I do know this, but sometimes it just doesn't seem to make a difference.
Well, I've been thinking, maybe it is not everybody else, maybe it's ME. It is hard to get perspective on things when you are in the middle of it. I've always thought it so easy to identify a problem and come up with a solution when I'm on the outside looking in. Too bad I couldn't get on the outside of my own issues.
I feel so grossly misunderstood (in some of my relationships). And even explaining myself to be more clear seems to further complicate the situation and add to the conflict. What is that x factor that I have with some folks who are just so smart and intuititive that they get me. And how can I carry that over to relationships where it's lacking.
Is it me??? Or everyone else???
I don't have the answer but I'll tell you it sure is frustrating. I don't think there is anything as comforting to me or as initimate as being understood. Not agreed with, but just understood. Where can you buy that?!?!? I didn't think it could be that difficult ....
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1 comment:
*sigh*
Honey, I'm hearing you loud and clear. Communication is the key to happiness. It's not cliche, it's true. The unfortunate thing is thinking it comes naturally and easy. It's work to communicate...especially with the ones we love the most.
I feel it's because we love them and they love us, we have a misconception they should understand us. We expect more from them. And thus are harder on them because they aren't meeting our expectations.
I'll give you the best page (in my opinion) from Dr. Phil's book. Paraphrased: What can I do today? What can I do to make my mate/friend/loved one feel special/loved/needed? Truly it's in giving to others we find happiness. (But if it's constantly taken without reciprocation, it's abuse.)
~B
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